The influential role you play in both his psyche and his life is demonstrated by the potent placement of his Virgo Moon in the 10th house; he perceives you as both powerful and somewhat critical.¹ The Moon in a child’s chart reflects that child’s experience of Mom, not who the Mom actually is. In a family of several children, each child’s Moon often reflects a very different experience of Mother. The fact that his natal Moon conjoins your Pluto and is activated by the rest of your grand cross only reinforces this perception.² Your Pluto conjoins his Moon; your Mars and Mercury square it, and your Sun–Mercury oppose it (See chart overlay below.)

It would be an understatement to say that the current transit of Uranus opposing his natal Moon amplifies the situation mightily.³ With the 2° orb, transiting Uranus opposes his natal Moon from February 24, 2003 to December 8, 2004. This greatly heightens his emotional response, which may make you more reactive than normal. This transit is occurring at a crucial stage in his development (age 16) when he’s appropriately pulling away from the nest. So, you are presented with a true cosmic challenge — but one to which you are, thankfully, capable of responding.

Inner Wheel & House Cusps- Son
Outer Wheel - Confounded Mom
Source for both: Birth Certificates

Your Mars–Jupiter opposition is part of a larger pattern, a (mainly) mutable grand cross that includes six out of your ten planets. You can be controlling, headstrong, and somewhat inconsistent at times, easily engaging in power struggles with your son when your temper gets the better of you. (See chart below.)⁴ Your grand cross is composed of Mars–Moon (within a 10° separating conjunction) opposite Jupiter and Sun–Mercury opposite Pluto. Planets within those two oppositions square each other. Although the Moon is out of a 10-degree orb to the Jupiter opposition, the pattern still functions as a grand cross, considered a challenging pattern.

And if anyone knows how to push your buttons, he does! (His Moon sits on your Pluto, within your Grand Cross.) Not to mention your current Uranus transit — it’s now conjoining your Mercury and squaring your Mars–Jupiter — again activating your grand cross.⁵ Including 2° orbs, transiting Uranus is conjunct your natal Mercury from April 22, 2002 to February 10, 2004; square natal Jupiter from May 11, 2002 to February 19, 2004; and square natal Mars from March 28, 2003 to January 22, 2005. This does not increase your capacity to be patient and understanding. Are you beginning to get the picture?

Natal Chart - Mom
Source: Birth Certificate

The key to your dilemma lies in your compassionate, sensitive Neptune rising in a coactive trine to your intuitive 4th-house Sun–Mercury conjunction. You are naturally empathic and perceptive of others’ pain. What will it take for you to connect to your son’s pain instead of his anger? To resonate with his overwhelming insecurities rather than react to his power plays and displays of arrogant disregard of the rules? To move consciously toward the promise of a mutually rewarding relationship (your Ascendant conjunct his Mercury and his Moon as part of a grand trine)?⁶ His 10th-house Moon is in an "out-of-element" grand trine to Uranus and Neptune in his 2nd house and Jupiter in his 6th. These planets are in fire and earth signs but within the 10° orb I allow for natal trines. Grand trines are highly harmonious configurations and considered a gift.

I ask you to give profound thought to these questions. Open the paths of real communication by sharing your deep feelings of concern and love for him (your Moon conjoins his Mercury) and attempt to understand what’s really important to him (your Moon opposite his Venus). Enlist the help of strong male role models — his dad, an uncle, or a close friend. Go to a relationship coach or therapist together, and develop strategies to create mutual respect through negotiation, conciliation, compromise, and honesty. All the steps you take now are a worthwhile investment that will repay you both many times over for the rest of your lives.