Depressed & Pregnant- I'm an excitement junkie, living on the edge, and now I'm pregnant again!

Q. I’ve always been an excitement junkie, unbeknownst to me; living on the edge, traveling (15 years in the navy), even embroiled in an eating disorder, was normal to me. I thrived on change and excitement. I had a major spiritual awakening at 25, which healed the addiction, brought into my life the father of my children I never thought to have, ultimately changing me as I became embroiled in metaphysical theologies. Then, with a move to California, all seemed to slow down and then stop. My navy career ended, and I became a stay-at-home Mom. I can't seem to make friends, nothing exciting happens, and I feel completely alienated even from myself and who I believed myself to be. To top it all off, with my two children half grown, I am pregnant again! Please help me understand why I am experiencing so much confinement. Does the remote possibility of moving show? I keep thinking if I leave California, I'll get my life back.

—Depressed and Pregnant

A. The mid 1960s were politically turbulent times; baby boomers came of age in the midst of the civil rights movement and the Viet Nam war. Astrologers attribute the volatility of this period to the 145-year Uranus–Pluto conjunction cycle (deep unrest leading to transformation of consciousness) with Saturn in opposition (existing structures resisting change).¹

You embody the polarized intensity of those times within your natal chart, in a particularly powerful way, due to the implied 8-pointed star pattern formed by eight planets plus the angles, inferring both great potential and numerous trials.² It is normal with this type of pattern that your younger years were turbulent and sometimes extreme, as you tested yourself by living life to the fullest. Then, you experienced a rebound effect, constellating a spiritual awakening that eventually lead to marriage, family, and your current predicament.

Now, realizing that you’ve lost touch with your passionate soul, you must reclaim it, in an integrated and mature way appropriate to your almost 40 years. Your lifelong challenge is to integrate the opposing themes shown in your chart and create a powerful, yet balanced life. This is, indeed, a momentous and demanding time, as transiting Pluto conjoins natal Sun and squares natal Uranus, while solar arc Ascendant conjoins natal Pluto. How can you create a life aligned with the realities of your family responsibilities while honoring all sides of your complex nature? Heightening this theme, transiting Uranus square natal Mercury dramatically enhances your capacity to both perceive and speak your truth. Above all, you are being called upon to reclaim your connection to spirit, which initially facilitated your transformation from excitement junkie to wife and mom. Creating the capacity to transcend any hardship through deep communion with spirit is transiting Neptune (Spirit) opposite the Ascendant (persona) during the final, most sacred phase of the progressed lunation cycle.³

The confinement of this pregnancy is a metaphor for your life; the discomfort you experience goes beyond the state you live in to your state of being. While a move is not out of the question, it’s not what this is all about. Call upon your innermost reserves, and maximize this unique opportunity to reclaim your zest for life in the face of your current circumstances. Revise your perspective, and view your new baby as part of your spiritual journey toward your Progressed New Moon (June 24, 2006) and the 30-year cycle to follow.⁴ Ask yourself: Where is the spaciousness within confinement? You are called upon, even in the face of this unplanned pregnancy, to find your way back to your vibrancy while stepping into the power and fullness of your being.