When Life is perplexing... Ask Astro-Coach The Q&A column combining astrological insights & life coaching wisdon
When life is perplexing--Ask Astro-Coach, the Q&A column combining astrological insights & life coaching wisdom written by San Francisco Life Coach and Astrologer Nicki Michaels. Home | Ask Your Question | FAQ | Your Comments          Visit Nicki Michaels' Beyond Sun Signs

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The sole purpose of the Ask Astro-Coach column is to demonstrate how an astrological perspective supports better informed decisions by providing deeper understanding of real-life situations. It is not meant to replace your own good judgment, nor the services of licensed professionals, such as psychologists, attorneys, physicians, or financial advisors.






References and Notes


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1. A t-square is a challenging planetary configuration. Two planets (or sets of planets) are in opposition to each other, and each is also square (90°) a third planet or set of planets. The “focal point” is the planet at 90° to the opposition. This particular t-square involves Venus, Mars, and Pluto, with the Moon as the focal point. The angular house placements (1st, 4th, and 7th houses) make this t-square extremely powerful and emphasize relationship issues and emotional availability.

2. Transiting Saturn conjoins natal Saturn for the second time from November 1, 2009 to September 2, 2010; this Saturn return occurs for everyone around the age of 59. It marks the beginning of the final third of life, the wisdom years.

3. Progressed New Moon occurred on May 22, 2001; crescent phase, March 5, 2005 to April 4, 2009, a time to take purposeful action toward your goals. Learn more about the Progressed Lunation Cycle from The Lunation Cycle: A Key to Understanding of Personality by Dane Rudhyar, Aurora Press, 1967 and in the article, An Overview of Dane Rudhyar's Approach to Cycles (TMA, 2/98), by Nicki Michaels.

4. Transiting Neptune conjoined natal Venus from February 7, 2002 to November 21, 2004 and squared Moon from March 18, 2002 to January 9, 2005. Transiting Saturn entered the 7th house on June 26, 2004 and leaves for the final time on July 4, 2007; opposed natal Sun from September 2, 2004 to June 27, 2005; squares Midheaven and IC from July 22, 2005 to April 27, 2006; opposes Venus from September 30, 2005 to July 22, 2006; and squares Moon from October 17, 2005 to August 1, 2006. Transiting Uranus sextiles Moon from May 6, 2005 to February 24, 2007. Progressed Venus exactly trines natal Pluto on January 31, 2006 and opposes Neptune on May 13, 2006.

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Nicki's astrological insights combined with life coaching wisdom might inform your important decisions. Explore the possibility of working with Nicki. Sorry, questions are no longer being accepted for the Ask Astro-Coach column.

Everyone's Best Friend
From The Mountain Astrologer, October-November 2005 (2)

Q.  My relationship issue just won't quit. I'm attracted to very few people—and when I find someone who rocks my world, they're never attracted to me sexually, only emotionally. This has happened four times over the last 15 years; each person (including my current interest) liked me so much that they tried to keep me as their main source of emotional support, even after they'd chosen a life partner.

I am so used to turning my sex drive off, I'm not sure I even have one anymore. This feels like a curse! I wish I could keep the few people I really enjoy from becoming the source of my greatest unhappiness.
— Everyone's Best Friend

A.  What makes a take-charge woman (Capricorn Ascendant and 1st-house Sun) choose heartbreak, time after time? Does a chronic case of Neptune blindness (Sun square Neptune) propel you to seemingly play it safe by repeatedly engaging in unrequited romantic involvements? Do you delight in the challenge of making an unavailable "best friend" fall in love with you (angular t-square)? What would you need to give up in the way of independence, autonomy, and control to get the intimacy you crave (that pesky t-square again)?1

Birth Chart:  Everyone's Best Friend
Natal Chart - Everyone's Best Friend
Source: Birth Certificate

Your chart reveals your complex nature: a maverick (Venus and Mars in Aquarius trine 9th-house Neptune) with conventional overtones (Capricorn Ascendant, Mercury and the Sun in the 1st house with the Sun trine Saturn); an independent iconoclast (Uranus opposite Mercury; Venus and Mars in Aquarius opposite Pluto) longing for emotional security and connection (4th-house Taurus Moon and Capricorn planets); a pragmatic realist (Sun, Moon, and Mercury in earth signs) who's also highly romantic (Venus and Mars trine Neptune). By learning to own all facets of your being (and therefore your true power) and by making better choices, you can eventually outgrow your fruitless relationship pattern, even while approaching your second Saturn return.2 To open yourself to the possibilities, consider, "What is it to be fully and deeply loved?"

On the practical level, be proactive. Consider this a cosmic test, rather than a curse—a test that you can and will pass if you take concrete steps toward change—steps that appropriately support your purpose during the crescent phase in the Progressed Lunation Cycle.3

A recent series of Neptune transits may have heightened your feelings of hopelessness and loss (transiting Neptune conjunct Venus and square Moon). Saturn's current long transit through your 7th house will help you to maintain a realistic perspective on committed relationship. Transiting Saturn (opposite Sun) facilitates achieving goals, regaining self-confidence (square Midheaven and IC), identifying what you care about (opposite Venus), and leaving behind passé patterns (square Moon with progressed Venus opposed natal Neptune). You couldn't ask for a clearer celestial manifesto for (literally) getting your relationship house in order.

End your current "friendship," and free your heart to find someone who's actually available (transiting Uranus sextile natal Moon with progressed Venus trining natal 7th house Pluto).4 Then, experiment: Join an online dating service, ask friends for introductions, etc. Rather than passively waiting until a new romance lands on your doorstep, find one for yourself. And don't settle for less than the best—you deserve it.

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