Q. I have always
had a very stormy relationship with my family.
It gets very confusing, but the older I get,
the worse it seems to get , instead of better.
I would like to know if this shows up in my
chart and what I can do about it. I feel very
uncomfortable around them and sometimes I feel
that it would be best if I didn't communicate
with them anymore.
— In A Dilemma
A. Your 4th-house
ruler (Pluto) conjunct your natal Ascendant
indicates the potency of your family's impact
on you. And Pluto's
sextile to your 3rd-house Neptune-Mars conjunction,
in the relationship-oriented sign of Libra,
reveals a deeply held (and possibly unconscious)
belief that if you just try harder to please
them, the problems will disappear. That unrealistic
expectation may explain why you feel confused.
Your perfectionistic Virgo Moon is in an
applying conjunction to natal Saturn and
in close applying opposition to natal Jupiter
near the 2nd/8th-house cusps; these aspects
amplify your own innate sense of inadequacy.
If you could only be better, smarter, prettier — it
would not only fix your relationship with
your family, but your entire life. As hard
as your family is on you, you are way harder
on yourself.
Luckily, the
planets are conspiring to support you in
taking the needed steps to make your life
better. First, there are the secondary progressions,
which reflect inner conditions rather than
outer events. Over the past two years and
for two more years, your progressed Sun is
conjunct natal Saturn,1 enabling you to access
your own inner strength and capacity. In
October and November 2003, the progressed
Moon conjoined your natal Ascendant and Pluto,
releasing your deep-seated desire to take
charge and to make major changes. At the
same time, you reached the waning semi-sextile
of the 30-year progressed lunation cycle,
when you first began to see the light at
the end of that long, dark tunnel.
The end
of the tunnel is, symbolically, your progressed
New Moon in March 2006 — truly, a new beginning
when you will have the chance to grow the life you
wish. Between now and then, you need to do some serious
letting-go, and transiting Uranus opposing your natal
Moon will help you get unstuck. This transit begins
in late February 2004 and ends in mid December 2005.2 This
is an opportunity to release outmoded responses to
life and to connect to your authentic self.
From
August 2004 to June 2005, transiting Saturn conjoins
your natal Sun,3 enabling you to establish
to your emerging goals with a solid grounding.
Focus on your new sense of direction to fully prepare
for the new beginning in the spring of 2006.
Does
this mean severing your ties to your family,
at least for the short term? Quite possibly.
Bypass extreme doubt (Sun and Uranus in Cancer
square Neptune and Mars in Libra) while doing
all that you can to connect to your own power
(Pluto rising in Leo) and capabilities (Moon
and Saturn in Virgo opposite Jupiter in Pisces).
At each step on the path leading to your
progressed New Moon, ask yourself: Am I being
true to my authentic self? Take whatever
steps are necessary, so you can honestly
answer "Yes!"