Leos At The Crossroads - My husband is having secret emotional friendships...

Q. My husband of 15 years and I are currently separated, due in part to the difficulties of being married to a man with Mars in Gemini. He says he hasn't had sexual affairs, but I have recently discovered him having secret emotional friendships that have gotten out of hand. While we are discussing the possibilities of our future together, I'm also considering calling it quits and moving out of state to be closer to my adult daughter. My husband and I have no children together, and he has come to realize that he needs to be a parent. Part of me would love that, but I'm afraid of ending up a single parent again. Will I ever be able to trust my man with Mars in Gemini and Neptune in Scorpio in the 7th? Do I stay and work on it, or start a new life when Saturn hits my Ascendant? Will our Leo love be enough to keep us together to raise a family?

—Leos At The Crossroads

A. Even if it's possible for you to move beyond the emotional infidelity you've uncovered, it will take dedication and commitment from you both to save this marriage. Natal Neptune at your IC square to Moon — Uranus near the Ascendant shows your high sensitivity to (and fear of) exactly such circumstances, perhaps because of early abandonment, either literal or psychological. Your 1st-house Leo planets square 4th-house Saturn reveal the apprehension around commitment that you must ultimately overcome if you wish to reclaim your marriage. Your Sun—Mars—Pluto conjunction sextile Neptune near the IC indicate your persistence in holding your marriage together, despite your husband's treachery.

Your husband's angular t-square (Neptune-Descendant opposite Moon-Ascendant square Mercury) shows that he most likely believes his own lies. It may be a stretch for him to comprehend that, without actually having a sexual affair, his secret emotional friendships are equally hurtful and inappropriate. His potent 5th-house (romantic affairs) includes a Sun-Uranus conjunction (spontaneous, unconventional behavior) and a Venus-Pluto conjunction (fatal attractions). With 5th-house Venus-Pluto in a grand trine with his sensual Taurus Moon on the Ascendant and retrograde Saturn near the Midheaven, this behavior may be compensation for low self-esteem. Venus-Pluto also squares his Gemini Mars, showing that his duplicitous actions (Mars) may be both compulsive (Pluto) and at odds with his actual values (Venus); this explains the deep remorse he is likely to feel, once he actually understands that he's caused you pain.

Birth Chart---Leo Husband
Natal Chart - Leo Husband
Source: Birth Certificate

The fact that your husband betrayed you after so many years of marriage and now "has come to realize that he needs to be a parent," just as you are on the verge of choosing a whole new life, is the classic sublimation of his 5th-house compulsions from recreation to procreation. And this is probably the one thing he could say that might actually seduce you back into the marriage (the above-mentioned grand trine).

Bi-Wheel--Inside Wife-Outside Husband Inner Chart - Leo Wife
Outer Chart - Leo Husband

I can certainly see why your buttons are being pushed. Besides the 15 years you've invested in your marriage, the powerful planetary connections between your charts show a deep emotional connection, as well as the high potential you perceive in the relationship.¹ However, the best predictor of future action is past behavior, and his hasn't been stellar. Also considering your acute sense of betrayal, I doubt that you will ever be able to fully trust this man again.

However, if you want to explore possibilities, now's the time. With transiting Saturn moving through your 12th house on its way to your Ascendant, investigate the deeper implications of your own choices. First, work with a good therapist or life coach to identify your true needs and feelings. During the process, continue to ask yourself: What's the deeper truth here? Then, if you still wish to save your marriage, attempt this only if your husband agrees to couples counseling — and possibly, individual counseling as well.

In the last quarter of 2005, Saturn conjoins your Moon and Ascendant, progressed Venus and transiting Jupiter conjoin your IC as transiting Jupiter and Pluto also make supportive aspects, and transiting Neptune square Saturn continues to dissolve outdated structures — all pointing to a good outcome.² Start the process of self-exploration now, and by late next year you'll be able to make the best decision for yourself and feel satisfied with your choice.