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The
sole purpose of the Ask Astro-Coach column is to demonstrate how an astrological perspective supports better informed decisions by providing deeper understanding of real-life situations. It is not meant to replace your own good judgment, nor the services of licensed professionals, such as psychologists, attorneys, physicians, or financial advisors.
References
and Notes
To easily view footnotes while
reading the answer, hover your cursor over the
footnote number in the text, and a pop-up box will
appear.
1. For more
on this topic, see Taming
Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method of Getting
out of Your Own Way, by
Rick Carson, Quill, 2003.
2. The first of the
interlaced t-squares is: Mars-South Node conjunction,
opposite Moon-North Node conjunction, all square
to 12th-house Neptune. The second t-square is
Saturn opposite Neptune, both square to the Moon-North
Node conjunction. These t-squares would form
a perfect grand cross configuration if the Mars
and Saturn were within orb of a square. (I use
10° orbs
for major aspects in natal charts.)
3. The
personal planets are the faster-moving ones,
including the Sun, the Moon, Mercury, Venus,
and Mars; they operate differently from the outer
planets (particularly Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto),
which are called "transpersonal
planets." When these outermost planets aspect
personal planets in a birth chart, the person
is challenged to increase their capacities beyond
their normal comfort zone.
4. Using
2° orbs, transiting Pluto squares the Sun
from January 9, 2003 to October 26, 2005; transiting
Uranus opposes Mars from March 28, 2004 to January
24, 2006 and squares the Ascendant/Descendant
axis from March 16, 2004 to January 10, 2006.
5. Using
2° orbs, transiting Uranus trines natal
Venus from March 14, 2004 to January 7, 2005.
6. Learn
more about the Progressed Lunation Cycle from The
Lunation Cycle: A
Key to Understanding of Personality by
Dane Rudhyar, Aurora Press, 1967 and in the article, An
Overview of Dane Rudhyar's Approach to Cycles (TMA,
2/98), by Nicki Michaels.
Consider how...
Nicki's astrological
insights combined with life
coaching wisdom might inform your important
decisions. Explore the possibility
of working with Nicki. Sorry,
questions are no longer being accepted
for the Ask Astro-Coach column.
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AskAstroCoach.com » » Lonely
Forever?
Lonely
Forever?
From The
Mountain Astrologer, December-January
2005 (1)
Q. I have
struggled all my life to make and keep friends,
and my love life has been even more of a non-starter.
I feel shy and awkward, uncertain that other
people want me around, but others seem to perceive
me as dominating and demanding, too needy and
too inflexible to make a desirable friend.
This has caused almost continuous pain throughout
my life and been the source of endless conflicts
with others. Should I just "throw out" the
first three decades of my life and become someone
completely different? I feel like the only
way I can change my ways of dealing with people
and learn to build better relationships is
to alter my life, my personality, and my interests
so radically that I'd need to throw the baby
out with the bath water. Part of me is hesitant
to do this, but part of me is in such pain
that I don't care. Where do I start?
—Lonely Forever?
A. You've
already started, beginning with your acknowledgment
of your pain and your responsibility for
problematic relationships. The short answer
to your question is yes: Throw out whatever
hasn't worked, and use current planetary
opportunities to totally reinvent yourself
by overcoming the tendency to maintain
your status quo.1
The two interlaced t-squares2 in
your natal chart,
along with other planetary placements,
reveal something about the origin of your
dilemma. The intense struggle you experience can
be excruciating: a yearning for deep connection
(Moon-North Node square Neptune) versus
a tendency to be unreasonably critical
and willful (Mars-South Node square Neptune),
along with the inner turmoil this conflict produces
(Moon opposite Mars with nodes). The deep-seated
insecurity suggested by the Neptune-Saturn
opposition squared to the Moon-North Node
can amplify otherwise insignificant interactions
into major crises. Coupled with the (sometimes
hypercritical) 10th-house Virgo planets, including
personal planets the Sun (the heart of who you are)
and Mercury (how you interpret the world and express
ideas) along with the autocratic outermost planet
Pluto,3 your
habitual tendencies seem impossible to
change.
Natal Chart - Lonely Forever?
Source: Birth Certificate
However,
you can change. Natal Saturn (patience) trines
those same 10th-house Virgo planets, allowing
you to learn from past mistakes, and natal
Moon (deepest feelings) trines Venus-Jupiter
(social coherence) in the 11th house (friendship,
hopes, and dreams), offering the promise
of successful, lasting, deep connection with
others.
The current transits of Pluto square the
Sun along with transiting Uranus opposing
Mars and squaring the Ascendant/Descendant
axis4 manifest as the
almost unbearable pain and hopelessness you
describe, while simultaneously providing
the driving impetus and determination to
overcome this lifelong pattern of alienation.
The progressed Moon crossing your Descendant
(November 24, 2004) again emphasizes your
relationship dilemma and your desire for
change.
The cosmic message? Do whatever it takes
to get the life you yearn for, and get some
professional support. Given this unique opportunity
for deep inner work, you can accomplish much
more in record time; find an experienced
therapist and dive in! Use transiting Uranus
(new possibilities) trine to natal Venus
(values and relationship connections) to
re-establish communication with old friends
and to make amends as appropriate.5 Identify
your emerging values around relating — first
for yourself and then for those you wish to bring
back into your life. In February 2005, you enter
the Disseminating phase of the Progressed Lunation
Cycle,6 an appropriate time
to revamp your relationship with the world as you
consider this: "What is interdependence?"
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