When Life is perplexing... Ask Astro-Coach The Q&A column combining astrological insights & life coaching wisdon
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The sole purpose of the Ask Astro-Coach column is to demonstrate how an astrological perspective supports better informed decisions by providing deeper understanding of real-life situations. It is not meant to replace your own good judgment, nor the services of licensed professionals, such as psychologists, attorneys, physicians, or financial advisors.






References and Notes


To easily view footnotes while reading the answer, hover your cursor over the footnote number in the text, and a pop-up box will appear.

1. The term “horizon” refers to the Ascendant–Descendant axis in a chart and marks the meeting of sky and earth. The term “nodal axis” refers to the North and South Nodes of the Moon, which are always exactly opposite each other in the zodiac; the nodes mark the place where the Moon’s orbit crosses the plane of the ecliptic. For further information, see Jeff Mayo, The Astrologer’s Astronomical Handbook, L. N. Fowler & Co. Ltd., 1972, pp. 81–85. For more about interpretation, refer to Dane Rudhyar, Person Centered Astrology, Aurora Press, 1980, pp. 266–281.

2. The Moon’s Nodes are slightly more than 1° from the cusp of the Ascendant and Descendant, close enough to be interpreted as though they were actually in the angular houses. Because of Uranus's proximity to the South Node, it also impacts the 7th house.

3. Transiting Uranus conjoins natal Mercury from March 15, 2003 to January 9, 2005, and transiting Pluto squares the natal Sun from December 31, 2002 to October 12, 2005. The progressed New Moon is on August 30, 2006. Learn more about the Progressed Lunation Cycle from The Lunation Cycle: A Key to Understanding of Personality by Dane Rudhyar, Aurora Press, 1967 and in the article, An Overview of Dane Rudhyar’s Approach to Cycles (TMA, 2/98), by Nicki Michaels.

4. Transiting Saturn conjoined natal Uranus from September 16, 1974 to July 4, 1975 and from July 10, 2004 to April 19, 2005; conjoined the natal South Node from June 18, 1975 to July 19, 1975 and again from July 25, 2004 to May 16, 2005; conjoined the Descendant from June 30, 1975 to July 31,1975 and again from August 6, 2004 to May 31, 2005; and remains in the 7th house until August 11, 2008.

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Longing For Love
From The Mountain Astrologer, April-may 2004 (3)

Q.  I am 49 years old. I was married for 14 years, from 1975 to 1990, then divorced. Since then, I have yet to find a satisfying, lasting relationship. I was engaged once, but it ended horribly. My partner was bipolar. He was everything I ever wanted, but I could not tolerate his sudden blowups and meanness. The relationships since seem like I'm revisiting with partners from previous lifetimes. It feels as if we have done this before. They last from 6 months to (the most recent ) lasting 2 years and dying. Was my marriage the only lasting relationship I'll ever have? Is there something I should know?
— Longing For Love

A.  Yes, there is something you should know: It is indeed significant that your experience of recent relationships is like “revisiting with partners from previous lifetimes,” as if “we have done this before.” Although I don’t pretend to be an expert on reincarnation, I do know that your natal nodal axis conjunct the horizon1 is where both your relationship dilemma and its ultimate solution lie.2

The South Node (both by sign and by house) represents the past. Be it past lives, genetic inheritance, or family emotional patterning, this is what feels familiar to you and is, therefore, the path of least resistance. It also acts as a release point for the Moon’s function.

Your 5th-house Moon–Jupiter conjunction forms a challenging t-square with Mars and your (wide) 2nd-house Sun–Venus conjunction. This conjunction would otherwise operate as an anchor for your own values (Venus) and goals (Sun) through enlivened creative activity (Moon–Jupiter in the 5th) and energetic, integrated participation in the world (11th-house Mars) instead catapults you into passionately intense relationships with unsuitable partners.

Longing for Love's Birth Chart
Natal Chart - Longing For Love
Source: Birth Certificate

With your 7th-house Cancer South Node conjunct Uranus, you are the quintessential fool for love. Impetuous feelings overcome your good judgment, attracting men of unactualized potential, with whom there’s a powerful magnetism (Pluto in the 7th) and yet whom you must ultimately rescue. This somewhat unintegrated approach to relationships, however, can backfire in dramatic ways, as it did with your bipolar partner.

I don’t mean to imply that you consciously make unsuitable relationship choices. The South Node represents unconscious patterns that, like the Energizer bunny, just keep on going — until you change them. Accentuated by retrograde Saturn (ruler of both your Ascendant and the North Node), this translates into a search for identity through relationship, rather than through internal, integral wholeness.

In a nutshell, the less you focus on your longing for one true love (South Node–Descendant) and the more you set your sights on developing selfhood (North Node–Ascendant), the more likely you are to outgrow this repetitive scenario. More simply put, change the tune to change the dance!

And, as fate would have it, the timing is divine, with a new tune set to start in the summer of 2006, as you begin another 30-year cycle of development at the time of your progressed New Moon. Between now and then, harness the energy of transiting Pluto’s square to your Sun and transiting Uranus’s conjunction to your Mercury, to free yourself from your past. Take this precious opportunity to reorient both your outlook and your goals.3

This summer, transiting Saturn conjoins natal Uranus–Descendant and enters the 7th house, as it did in 1975, the year of your marriage, offering you once again the potential for a committed relationship.4 Have faith in the fulfillment of that promise, shifting your focus from the South to the North Node, by asking yourself each day: What does it mean to live an integrated, whole, and enlivened life?

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